Who really decides who speaks at a non-religious funeral?

Most of us have been to a funeral where we thought that the service didn't accurately or adequately represent the deceased's life. We've seen this at both religious and non-religious ceremonies. The problem is that the person delivering not only the eulogy, but the entire ceremony, usually didn't know the deceased at all. This can be very upsetting for the bereaved and particularly the primary mourners and can leave a lifelong legacy of regret or remorse for the people who are left behind.

In Australia, more than half of all funeral services are conducted by civil funeral celebrants rather than ministers of religion.

Yet when a funeral needs to be arranged for a loved one, who is the first person contacted? 99 times out of 100 it's a Funeral Director (FD). The general public are under the misunderstanding that it is the FD's job to appoint a Funeral Celebrant (FC). In fact, most people believe that FCs are actually employed by FDs but apart from a very small handful of smaller funeral businesses (usually family businesses who conduct the service themselves), FCs are engaged casually and paid by the FD after the funeral. When the bereaved speaks with the FD they are not advised that they can appoint their own privately sought or preferred celebrant. In fact, this is often discouraged. The funeral busines is just like any other business. It has not been established for any pilanthropic or social purposes. Funeral businesses are there to make a profit and it suits their purpose to handle all aspects of a funeral, charge one all inclusive fee to the client and to distribute disbursements accordingly. By and large this is convenient and helpful to a person or family during a very stressful time.

BUT.... what training (if any) does the FD-appointed celebrant posses? Unlike Marriage Celebrants, there is no legal requirement for a Funeral Celebrant to be registered. In fact, FCs do not have to have had any formal training or qualifications at all. Many of the active FCs around Australia fall into this category and although they may have good intentions, they fall far short of providing the sort of ceremony that should be provided. More than likely, the bereaved family will receive a brief (1-2 hour) visit where they will gather enough basic information about the deceased to be able to cobble together a fairly superficial eulogy. They'll choose a song or two to play and not speak nor meet again until the day of the funeral.

This is where things start to go wrong. Unless the entire eulogy is or read or heard by the primary mourners there is no guarantee that the 'celebrant' has accurately interpreted the information they gathered at the interview. How often is this discovered during the actual funeral? Far too often.

Funeral celebrancy is a difficult but highly rewarding profession (and it IS a profession) but it is very poorly paid. An average funeral requires between 10-20 hours work (it can be much more for some people) including interviews, research, writing & editing and actual funeral attendance. The FD's pay the FCs a flat rate regardless of the amount of time taken. They do not pay a fuel allowance for attendance at interviews and funerals. So it is understandable that so many FCs have developed a 'cookie cutter' approach to writing funeral ceremonies. They can't afford to do anything else. The rate paid by FDs varies from State to State in Australia. Victorian celebrants, general considered to be the most fortunate in Australia, can expect $400 per funeral. Do the maths and you can work out how many hours per week a FC needs to work to earn a modest income. That income won't include superannuation, holiday or sick leave benefits either. In New South Wales, celebrants are paid $100 per funeral.

Like me, you might ask, 'Why the heck do they do it?' Well, it is very personally rewarding work. But no professionally minded or qualified public speaker, writer or qualified celebrant can afford to do this. They cannot keep a roof over the heads of their families nor food in their mouths. So the clients end up with semi-retired, retired or otherwise unemployable people conducting funeral ceremonies. Of course this is a generalisation but it is true far too often.

There is a new boom industry out there providing training for a 'career' in celebrancy. These training organizations target the unemployed, the retired, the stay-at-home Mum who is looking for something to do now her children have grown up and the like. There is a major industry in weekend courses providing Certificates and Statements of Attainment. But really folks, how much can you learn in a weekend?

Such a career requires knowledge of the industry, a level of maturity with personal life experiences which help you to relate to the bereaved, good literacy skills, public speaking skills, historical research skills, social and cultural sensitivities, knowledge of and an appreciation of poetry, verse and music and knowledge of and appreciation of symbolic ritual. A funeral celebrant is not a counsellor but they should have been trained to understand and appreciate the emotional impact of grief.

I urge everybody to tell everybody they know that in the event of death of a loved one, DO NOT call a Funeral Director in the first instance. Call your own preferred professional celebrant first. If you don't know how to find one, contact the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants http://www.civilcelebrants.com.au/ or better still the International College of Celebrancy (search for a celebrant at http://www.celebrancy.com/site/index.php?option=MemberSearch&Itemid=213&op=page ) as their referrals are for trained, rather than just practising celebrants.

If you ask a Funeral Director to appoint or suggest a celebrant, the outcome is totally out of your hands.